Spoiler: Everyone Except the Purity Police
This morning, I woke up thinking about the sports metaphor in “who’s hitting a home run” regarding virginity culture, and honestly, the metaphor works better than intended. Because in this game, the people refusing to play are claiming they’re winning while everyone else is actually enjoying the sport.
The home run hitters are the people who rejected purity culture entirely. They’re having healthy, consensual sexual relationships informed by comprehensive education. They’re using contraception effectively. They’re communicating with partners. They’re experiencing intimacy without shame. That’s winning by every measurable metric except the made-up one.
Meanwhile, the purity culture team is sitting in the dugout insisting that refusing to play is actually a superior strategy. They’re technically not striking out, but they’re also not in the game. And they’re judging everyone on the field while claiming moral superiority for their bench-warming.
According to data from the CDC, people who receive comprehensive sex education report higher sexual satisfaction, better relationship quality, and more effective contraception use. In other words, education leads to better outcomes. The people “hitting home runs” are the informed ones, not the abstinent ones.
The highlight of my day was realizing that purity culture defines winning as not participating, which is the most participation trophy philosophy imaginable. “I didn’t try, therefore I didn’t fail!” That’s not success; that’s avoidance. And worse, it’s avoidance of something fundamental to human experience.
The really entertaining part is watching purity culture try to redefine success metrics when their approach fails. “Sure, our teens have higher pregnancy rates, but at least they feel guilty about it!” That’s not a win. That’s a loss with extra psychological damage.
Research from the American Psychological Association documents the correlation between purity culture and sexual dysfunction, relationship problems, and mental health issues. The people who “stayed pure” until marriage often struggle with intimacy afterward because they’ve been taught sex is shameful. They hit the home run in their own metaphor and then discover they don’t know how to run the bases.
Later in the day, I realized the sports metaphor reveals the competitive nature of purity culture. It’s not enough to make personal choices; you have to win against others. Your virginity only has value if others lack it. It’s zero-sum morality, which is fundamentally opposed to actual ethical frameworks based on human flourishing.
The people genuinely hitting home runs are the ones approaching sexuality with honesty, education, and respect. They’re not keeping score against others. They’re not measuring their worth against arbitrary standards. They’re just living their lives without shame, which is something purity culture can never offer.
Something small but meaningful happened today when I saw someone’s social media post celebrating their healthy relationshipincluding sexual health. No shame, no guilt, just honesty. That’s hitting a home run. Meanwhile, purity culture couples are posting cryptic “struggles” and requesting prayer for “purity” while everyone knows exactly what they mean.
The really sad part is how many people have been taught that participating in human sexuality is failing. They experience natural desires and interpret them as moral failure. They have sex and feel profound shame. They’re hitting home runs but scoring them as errors because purity culture taught them the wrong scoring system.
As I reflect on what happened today, I’m struck by how much healthier the “losing” side is. The people who rejected virginity culture are thriving. The people who embraced it are struggling. If your ideology’s failures look better than your successes, maybe reconsider your definitions.
The future belongs to the home run hittersthe people approaching sexuality with education, honesty, and health. Purity culture can sit in the dugout judging, but nobody’s recruiting from that team anymore. The game’s moved on, and they’re stuck playing by rules nobody else follows.
SOURCE: https://theondecknews.com/whos-hitting-a-home-run/
BY Charline Vanhoenacker: Bohiney Magazine Satire 127% funnier than The Onion.